The Sickboy Method

I’m not saying that I’ve been massively looking forward to the start of Diablo III‘s Season 5 today, but I am going for “the Sickboy method” of immersion this weekend:

Stage one, preparation. For this you will need one room which you will not leave. Soothing music. Tomato soup, ten tins of. Mushroom soup, eight tins of, for consumption cold. Ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of. Magnesia, milk of, one bottle. Paracetamol, mouthwash, vitamins. Mineral water, Lucozade, pornography. One mattress. One bucket for urine, one for feces and one for vomitus. One television and one bottle of Valium, which I’ve already procured from my mother, who is, in her own domestic and socially acceptable way also a drug addict. And now I’m ready.


Okay — maybe not that bad. And I do have to leave the house at least on Saturday, as I’m working. And I want to do some reading with Kateri for a while. But apart from that, I’m going in.

My main goal is to work on a Wizard, one of the two classes I’ve played the least (the other being the eternally unappealing Demon Hunter) and to try and reach at least a stage further in the Season Journey than I did last time. My other goal is to run a second character this season. I’m starting to think there’s time for that, if I play consistently throughout the length of the season. I’m thinking probably a Crusader, just for some contrast with the Wizard — and maybe a hardcore one. You need a hardcore character for the last section of the Journey (I’m being wildly optimistic here) — and a few of the Conquests are hardcore-only. I’m thinking of using the HC character only to run bounties on Torment X, in hopes of accidentally encountering a Gilded Baron and therefore probably achieving the Avaritia conquest.


The thing that I’m excited about this season is that Kateri will be playing alongside me as a barbarian. We’ve cut our teeth together in Torchlight II and now we’re ready to cause some chaos together. I’m really looking forward to completing parts of the Season Journey together, and then seeing how we fare as we rise up the Greater Rift ranks together. I think she’s planning on a Might of the Earth Lut Socks powered leap-and-earthquake build, which should be hilariously powerful while my wizard rains down fire. As fun as Diablo III is solo, it really shines in multiplayer, and we have the best time sharing a virtual space and working together.

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